As of late I have been very angry. I have been brutally angry with many things circulating in my life. Happily I can say it’s not towards others but myself and my goals. I haven’t been at all happy with direction I have found myself going. I think the main reason for my down feelings and morals is heavily due to me been sick. I have been sick for the past week or so and it has really took a toll on me and caused me to do some heavy reflection on my progress into my career and legacy.
I know very well I can’t by-will speed up success, but I do know I could be more effective with my time and works to produce the best product I can. I really haven’t doing do as yet. I have quite an epic schedule of projects and measurable accomplishments I want to get done in 2012, and it takes quite a great deal of time, efforts and finesse in which is to get them done, pretty much perfection of self or very little room for error.
My blog and other avenues of tools I use primarily for experimental reasons. I know what works and what doesn’t and could refer to myself as an expert in a few fields, but in others I still trying to build a solid structure in and it is quite a challenge trying to just break into. Managing other aspects of my life is feeling like a burden to my creative nature and its very unhealthy. I have noticed a trend that I have following, in which not getting the a grip and working on my major goals primarily than my micro goals for the micro goals are easier and I know I can do it.
I am not challenging myself enough like I use to, to be able to break the hard shell of new experiences and new grounds of work. I have the mind-set and mentally to want to do it, but the body is not able to follow through with the actions via me being sick and its driving me insane and causing me to slack off on other commitments I have.
I know I can’t be perfect, but I working hard to be so, if not be close to it for my standards.
TO BE CONTINUED…
PS: sorry if it sounds a bit a ramble, I guess I was rambling…I just needed to write and get it off my chest.